“Okay, Crystal, just live in my world for a second, okay? I’ve barely had friends growing up, let alone romantic or sexual partners. So this is like an alien world to me, and I get easily overwhelmed. Imagine suddenly finding yourself in a new world, surrounded by people that speak a different language than you. To a smaller exte-”“What language?”“I don’t care, Crystal, it’s a comparison,” I replied back annoyedly. “Well if I wanna imagine it, I gotta know the l-”“Fine, Mandarin.”“The hell is Mandarin?!” she asked ludicrously, looking around.“It’s another word for Chinese,” Lexi clarified.“Oh. Well then, you could come with me, you would be able to speak Mandarin, right?”“Yes, I do, biǎo zi,” I replied, losing my patience. Crystal looked at me, impressed. “Woah, it sounds like you have a totally different voice when you say that!”“Do me next!” Lexi interjected.“So if you suddenly found yourself surrounded by Chinese people, without me to guide you, you’d get pretty overwhelmed. Not. Now with food to eat and me cleanly out of view behind her Marian resumedthe one way chattering from when I had the pacifier in. She talked aboutthe restaurant and the food. The dessert bar and the real bar. Shementioned that she wanted to go into town to get a journal. As she leftto get changed to go out, she invited me to come along for the ride if Iwanted.I knew she worked out her feelings sometimes through journaling and Ialso knew she would want time alone to think. I stayed at the house whileshe went out. I would have went and just stayed in the car if I hadthought she really wanted me there. But as she got up to leave and caughtme out of the corner of her eye and quickly looked away I knew she neededto work this out for herself.I went into the entertainment room while she went upstairs. The TV wasoff and I couldn't turn it on with the mitts. I just sat in the corner onthe dog pillow feeling too out of place to use the human furniture. Also,I was less likely to catch her eye on.
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